3 simple steps to watching over 3000 naked women for free

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5 Mainstream Ads that can be used to promote porn.

There are many people who seek in to the past for answers and sometimes they realize that the past is not as good as they think, here are some examples of how some ads in the past were naively (diabolically?) created as if they were really the ads for porn movies.

SKINLESS WIENERS FOR GOOD BOYS AND GIRLS.

The guy who invented the sausages is nothing but a prankster, because there is nothing funnier than penis shaped food, you may not know this, but before they use to be shoved the wieners in sheep intestine casings, yes that is right you hear me sheep intestines!!, so suddenly the technology was able to get rid off of the sheep intestines and there is when advertising geniuses decided that the best way to advertise the product was with the following phrase:

Wieners with No Skins!!

Please don’t tell me I am the only one that is having all kind of dirty thoughts, I know you too are thinking about circumcised penises, condom free sex and much more, to me all this advertising it's like some of the first rap songs, they give you enough info to start giggling, but not too much to be censored by the main stream media.

TOSS THAT SALAD.

I really don’t even use that phrase outside the sex arena, I am not quite sure if the advertising executes in Heinz have any idea of how that phrase it was going to be used in the future, I hope I don’t find other products called “Chocking the chicken” or “Tickling the taco” in other cooking ads.

MICKEY WANTS TO PUT HIS MILK INSIDE YOU.

Just read that phrase loud and change the word Minnie for your bosses name, ready?: “Inside of you, Minnie- My milk is the best thing in the World!” when he arrives screaming towards you, tell him you simply wanted to share this ad with him.

I am sure that you have heard all those crazy theories about Walt Disney being part of some conspiracy theories painting pennises in the cover of his movies, and the word Sex in the Lion King Movie, well I don’t know you, but this ad makes me very suspicious that all those stories were right and maybe Walt himself was a little bit on the other side if you know what I mean ;)

WHAT ABOUT MENS UNDERWEAR? LETS GET DOWN TO BUSINESS.

Let’s suppose that every man that is reading this column is gay, but not just the regular level of gay, but the most exhibitionist and flamboyant type there are, even in that level I will bet my left nut that you are not hanging around on your underwear as the gentlemen shown in this ad.

Let’s analyze the above ad, I really don’t know (because you guys never invite me to your crazy parties), but I greatly suspect that it is not a common activity to engage into a wrestling match with other men in your bare underwear, or this ad is exaggerating the activity, the marketing executive simply lost their market, or probably is one of those activities that people use to do back in the day. Well at least the ad gives a little bit of context; the two men are in a locker room and I want to believe that it was some common activity back in the days, because I have been into many men lockers and I have never witnessed anything like that.

Speaking of…

I have nothing against people dressing in ways that defies the gender expectations, but I think they should be a better way to sell socks to men don’t you think? I mean I understand the men may love his suspenders but I am not quite sure the market they are aiming for shares the same passion.

THERE MUST BE A BETTER WAT TO ADVERTISE BANANAS: MOST FLAVORFUL.

There are so many things wrong with this ad that I am not going to start enumerating them, I will simply say that there are two types of people I hate, those who don’t have fun and the people who made this ad.

10 people who have eaten more pussy than you ever will!!

One of the most common activities known to men is to brag about their sexual encounters, nevertheless there are some of them that are way beyond the “regular bragging” range, and here is the list of the 10 people who have eaten more pussy than you ever will

      
         
            
                   1.   Warren Beatty.

In the book called Star: How Warren Beatty seduced America written by the author Peter Biskind contends that the actor has fucked more than 13,000 women, some of the most famous conquers are: Jane Fonda, Joan Collins, Julie Christie, Diane Keaton, Fran Drescher, Janice Dickinson, Madonna and probably one or two college girls.

According with the same book he started when he was 20 and considering that he got married with Annette Bening in 1992 when he was 55 that is about 371 women a year, if we compare this with the 5000 women the biggest male porn star Ron Jeremy accepts to have fucked, Warren did more than twice that number.

       




                        2.       Wilt Chamberlain.

 In many interviews he has said that he slept with 20,000 women, and this claim were put on paper on his 1991 book called “A view from Above”, according with the book he started when he was 15, the book was finished when he was 55 so doing some math those are 500 women per year or 1.4 women per day, some of his closest friends say that he used to love threesomes, which makes it easier to reach that number lol.

                                                                    
                  3.       Gene Simmons.

In an interview to the Esquire magazine Gene Simmons said he has slept with more than 4600 women, assuming he has been sexually active for 40 years (he is 63)  that averages 115 women per year, 2 per week , at least we know another use he has for his tongue.

           4.Irving “Magic” Johnson.

According with several interviews he has accepted to sleep with more than 1,000 women, he said he even lost the count at some point, not surprisingly when he announced he was HIV positive he did not know which girl has passed him the virus.

                                                                       






           5.       Jack Nicholson.

He has said in several interviews that he has been “with more than 2,000 women”, some of the names he has dropped over the years are: Michelle Phillips, Bebe Buell, Lara Flynn Boyle, Anjelica Houston (for 16 years!), Rebecca Broussard (who was his girlfriend at the same time he was with Anjelica) etc…

                                                                                                                                                       






6. Umberto Billo.

Never heard of this guy? you are not the only one, he may be the only one of this list that is not rich nor famous (God, he is not even American citizen!), he used to be the porter at the Venetian hotel in Las Vegas, he claims that he has slept with more than 8,000 women and according with him “just by asking them to check in the counter”, one business women even stated “I must have spent thousands in this hotel because of him”, unfortunately he was fired because sometimes he was “too tired to carry the luggage” no wonder why.  

     7.       Julio Iglesias.

He is one of the biggest Spanish speaker singers and according with the Maxim magazine he has been with more than 3000 women in his life, that is approximately 66 women per year, no wonder he has spawn more than 10 kids being Enrique Iglesias one of them. 

                        8.       Fidel Castro.

 

“El comandante” as he calls himself, claimed in a 2008 documentary that he used to sleep at least with 2 different women per night during the last 40 years, the sources of this information was a former Castro Official and he even said “I don’t think he would have stayed on for as long as he did if he had not had access to all the women he had as president”.

                      9.       Charlie Sheen.

Who doesn’t know Charlie Sheen? And more important who doesn’t know his sex and drug escapades? He has said to TMZ website that he has been with more than 5000 women and here are some of the names he has dropped: Tamara Beckwith, Robin Wright Penn, Dolly Fox, Winona Ryder, Heidi Fleiss, Kelly Preston, Dominique Simone, Heather Hunter, Donna Peele, Sky Valencia and many, many more.

                10.       Eric Clapton.

Eric Clapton has a story with drugs, he is a rock star so in order to complete the triangle of  “sex, drugs and rock and roll”, he has said in several interviews that  he has been with more than 1,000 in his life.

Know that we know how much of a loosers we are, We should go to increase our number... but not of the women we have been with, but the number of FAPS!!! take some good material and happy fapping